I have often found that having a sense of humor about things makes people more open to seeing your point of view.  My jibes at hubby here and on Facebook paid off.  He made an extra effort today to be quiet while preparing to leave the house at 5:30AM.

I had a wonderful workout and even got to do a little bit of Yoga at the end.  By the time Gracie woke up at 6:45ish I was refreshed and at peace and ready to bestow upon her an insane amount of hugs and kisses.

While we often feel guilty about wanting time to ourselves, I think the reality is that we need time to ourselves in order to be good mommies and daddies.

No child wants to feel like a burden or an unwanted intrusion.  I know this from personal experience. Both of my parents were very focused on themselves…they were part of that generation.  Oddly they both thought that by being so focused on careers and financial obligations they were being great parents.  I would have preferred more hugs and some silly time personally.  I spent a great deal of my childhood feeling as if they would have preferred not to have me.  That’s not so great for your self esteem.

I don’t want to do that to Gracie, but when I’m feeling overwhelmed and I have no had a moment to myself in days, I know I give off that vibe.  When she calls my name I can hear that tone in my voice that says “you pain in the ass what the hell do you want now?”  Mind you what I’m actually saying is “Yes honey?”, but I know the tone says it all.  Especially when she seeks me out to hug me and say “I love you Mommy.”  I know that she has sensed my frustration and anger and she feels she is the cause.

At those moments I want to curl up under a rock and die.  The guilt comes crashing down.  All I can do is wrap my arms around her and hold her close, reassuring her that I love her and I am there for her.  Then I try to drop what I’m doing and remember that these days are precious and soon she will be grown and gone and I will have more time to myself than I know how to fill.